They say the look can be deceptive and they might agree with that. Appearance can be seductive, but the character also holds us to a person. Attracting a potential love partner at first can be difficult if the other party is only interested in physical appearance. We agree, no one knows when for the first time in someone’s life they see how much the book has banished or what her education is like, but everyone deserves to be loved and accepted.

Why did I tell this now? So to get you to the bottom of what it’s really like when you want to go on a date with a plus-size woman.

Dating today is a tricky business — whether you’re looking for love online or off. People ghost. They fetishize. Those who seemed nice in their profiles turn out to be total bad boys after the first date. Regardless of who you are, the journey that is dating and relationships can make you feel like you’re running around in circles.

But plus-size women often have an entirely different experience with dating than women who are considered straight-size.

Here are some things you should know before you date this type woman.

Expressing Sexual Expectations

Sex is another area where women, regardless of size, may or may not have body issues. Every woman wants to feel like a goddess in the eyes of the man she is with. Don’t be surprised if she expresses doubts about her attractiveness. While you are not responsible for her self-esteem, you are responsible for letting her know how attractive she is to you. It’s not always about how to have better sex, so much as it is about how to be intimate and loving with your girl.

Do let her know you think she’s beautiful, emphasize her sensuality and how it affects you.

Do not tease her if she’s not willing to shed the sexy nighty, or try to ‘shame’ her into it. Accept her.

To discover what pleases her. Some women like a lot of foreplay, some like cuddling, still others enjoy a swift, deep penetration and active play. Ask intimate questions. Learn what your woman likes by being open to her telling you.

Do not insist on positions or play she expresses fear or trepidation about, trust in intimate areas take time and discovering what gives your partner pleasure does, too.

Do open a dialogue about different positions or methods you want to experiment with together for mutual benefit. You can make it a game, a sensual game designed to enhance the experience for both of you.

You have to be proud of her

If you think you are going to be leaving your girlfriend when you go out because you are embarrassed by her, then don’t even date her. She doesn’t want to be kept secret and if you cannot handle what people will say or think, then plus size women are not your type.

Why would you date me if you dated a skinny girl before?

This is a land mine-laced question, and no woman wants to hear about the woman before her no matter how much she asks. What she is looking for is validation of why you’re with her. Tell her you aren’t comparing her to any woman before. Ask if you can do something differently so she gets the validation she needs.

Do I look fat?

Avoid the ‘more of you to love’ response. It doesn’t always ring true with a woman, and it can sound condescending. Even if her weight isn’t important to you, respect that it may be important to her. Be honest, you like her for her and what’s important to her is what is important to you. Be supportive. That doesn’t mean fix it, it means telling her straight up that you want her for her.

Got A Fetish?

Most plus-size women seek authentic, healthy, and long-lasting relationships. We don’t find enjoyment in fulfilling a temporary fantasy or fetish. Your fetishes and fantasies are your prerogatives. Find the social group that supports your needs and skip us with all that!

Be unapologetic about having sex, even if it’s on the first date.

There’s nothing wrong with getting busy on the first, second, or third date. You’re two consenting adults who shouldn’t be anchored to sexist understandings of “purity” and morality.

Of course, it’s important to practice safe sex and openly communicate about sexual boundaries. Then, have fun and let loose in the no-judgment zone.

Everyone is beautiful in their own way and there is more to you than your weight. If you feel healthy and good about yourself, you shouldn’t center everything around your weight. Accentuate your great personality and represent yourself with utmost confidence. Plenty of men don’t make a big deal of your weight until you do and confidence is sexy!